THE BLEEDING (apocalypse of the dead) (2009 U.S.) D: CHARLIE PICERNI W: LANCE LANE P: MICHAEL MATTHIAS/MICHAEL TADROSS JR./JOE DI MAIO/GORDON BIJELONIC
If you could cast anyone as the king of the vampires, would you choose Vinnie Jones? That`s just one of the problems plaguing this laughable horror-action outing shot in Wilmington, North Carolina. But the main problem is our leading man, one Michael Matthias (also a producer, tellingly). Matthias has exactly one facial expression, whether sad, angry, happy, trying to be funny or banging on about his Shelby Super Snake racing car (it`s mentioned a lot). He also narrates in a dull monotone (for some reason a Brendan Kelly gets a special credit for writing this insipid monologue). Anyway, Matthias has to kill Cain (Jones), an evil resurrection of his dead soldier brother who was killed on manouvers in Afghanistan. He`s aided by Michael Madsen as a sub-machine gun-totting priest. It ends with a shootout at an old factory-turned-nightclub filled with vampires (inspired by BLADE i guess), and an extended car-chase (Director Picerni has been a stuntman since the early 60`s!). Competing with Matthias and Jones (who`s souther accent is forever slipping) for the worst actor on-screen is rapper DMX (who doesn`t last long). With Armand Assante and William McNamara.

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