SCORPION THUNDERBOLT (snake) (1983/84 S. KOREA HONG KONG) D/W: "GODFREY HO" (D: BEOM-GU KANG W: DONG-WOON JU) W: AAV CREATIVE UNIT/"STEPHEN SO" P: JOSEPH LAI/BETTY CHAN
Another cut 'n' paste effort ripped-off by Lai's IFD, but this time watchably terrible as opposed to terribly unwatchable (an important distinction that veteran viewers of such shit will appreciate). The source material appears to be a Korean monster movie (MONGNYEO HAN) that was lensed in Taiwan (Yeung Hung is in the original cast). What appears to be a clawed serpent is killing women across the city. The cop on the case (who is also being pestered by an escaped convict he put away in a silly sub-plot) falls for a female journalist, but she turns out to be (que flashback) the offspring of an union between the "Prince of snakes" and a "snake-killer" (he makes medicine). The end has her transforming into a man-in-a-suit reptilian creature that drinks human blood. Add to this new footage added in Hong Kong (it transfers the action to Kowloon) that stars Richard Harrison as a guy targeted by a "vampire witch" (she has long silver finger gloves and writhes and dances while playing bongos or caressing a flashing crystal ball). She sends minions out to kill him and get his magic ring. One is a white hitchhiking woman who flashes her tits to get a ride, strips to Jean-Micheal Jarre's hit Oxygene (!), before Harrison fucks her in a movie theatre (I'm not sure, but I think that's Phillip Ko Fei banging someone else on-screen in the background, probably from another film). Harrison finally destroys the witch as music stolen from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK plays. The English dub is loaded with nonsensical non-sequitors, and even the original footage has its fair share of unrelated silliness (maybe out of context), like home-disco dancing and a guy using a tied-up woman as a human pool table. My favourite scene is the car full of snakes. With Lee Fat-Yuen. Alternately dull, trippy and hilarious, I think some of you just might enjoy. I watched a Japanese video print, apparently longer than any other version (a scene with a real gutted dog is absent from the U.K. release, for example).

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