JURASSIC SHARK (2011 CANADA) D: BRETT KELLY W: DAVID A. LLOYD P: ANNE-MARIE FRIGON
Some student girls in their bikinis and a gang of stupid art thieves (led by a bitch dyke) are terrorised by a megalodon shark in a lake, unleashed by an oil drilling company. It might be unfair to pick on such a low-budget affair just for having extremely poor CGI FX, so let's just criticize the script, sound, editing and overall air of desperation. If you were charitable (or drunk) enough, you may derive some laughs from its incompetent nature (i'm a veteran of shitty movies, but even I was shaking my head in disbelief), but it's mostly painfully dull. Here's just one nitpick: why would a small gang of crooks who have just killed a cop, and are hauling around a valuable painting for a rendezvous with a fence, choose as their means of escape a small rowing boat across a lake to an island in the middle of nowhere? And of the mercifully brief 75 min. running time, 13(!) are taken up by the end credits! Shot somewhere in Ottawa (note plugs for local Hogsback Beer). Busy Director Kelly also made the ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES (2008) remake, among others.

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